As we continue on through our second week of relationship talk on Views & Vibes, I’m adding five more dating tips that I previously published in Jolie Magazine Online:
- Don’t treat the conversation like an interview or a sales pitch
We all learn something new about ourselves on a regular basis, correct? So, what makes you think you are going to learn everything about a particular person on one date? It’s not going to happen. It takes time to really get to know someone, and you will often find that you learn more about someone through their actions as opposed to their words. That person will sell anything they think you’ll be willing to buy if it seems as though they are applying for a position within your life. You shouldn’t treat your dating experiences like an employee search, and your conversation should reflect that. Keep it easy and breezy, and with your ears open, let it float along freely!
2. Meet out on the first date, and don’t let anyone follow you home
Have you ever fed a stray dog or cat, and it followed you home? Maybe not, but I’m sure you get my meaning! Well, that stray could make a lot of trouble for you if you don’t continue to feed it. The same can be said about humans. I don’t care how nice the person seemed online, or over the phone, or even on the date. The point is, “YOU DON’T KNOW THE PERSON!!!” He or she could be just like that stray if they know where you live and never leave you alone. First dates should never take place at your home. Whether it’s to watch a movie, or have dinner, or play “Candyland”, home is too intimate a setting for a first date. Unless you are ready the “commitments” that may arise, keep your date to neutral location.
- Meet out as early as possible
The most important element of any date isn’t where you meet, or what you wear, or how you smell: it is how you converse. And the magic behind the ability to hold a great conversation is being alert, which may be hard to do when meeting out for drinks at eleven at night. A lunch date is probably best for a first date. At that time of day, you are usually at your brightest. Also, your date is limited by the time you can take from work for lunch. That way if the date is horrible, you have an easy out, and if the date is nice, you have the option of meeting again after work. But if a lunch date isn’t possible, try to meet early in the evening so that you aren’t fully feeling the effects of your long day, and you have more time to converse before that wary feeling creeps up on you!
- Be on time or early for a date, or call if you are going to be late
I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but in the world of dating, COURTESY COUNTS!! Courtesy isn’t limited to opening doors for someone or pulling out someone’s chair for them to sit. The idea of “courtesy” extends into showing respect for the person with whom you are dating, and the best way to disrespect someone is to show no appreciation for their time! If you are picking someone up or meeting them out, please be sure to BE ON TIME! If someone is coming to pick YOU up, please BE READY ON TIME! If you know you are running late, do the courteous thing and call to let the person know! There’s no better way to sour a date than to start it on such bad footing.
- Don’t go on a first date starving
Throughout human history, food and talk have gone hand in hand. There’s nothing like sharing a great discussion over a great meal to make a great date. But the meal should not be the primary focus of the date, which it can become if you spend the entire date doing nothing but eating. I’ve known many people who have skipped lunch to save their appetites for a dinner date. That’s not a good look! How classy do you think someone will find you as you continuously stuff your face throughout dinner, or as they listen to the rumblings in your belly as you wait for the food to come, or the bill comes (which you aren’t paying) and your meal costs three times your date’s total amount. Have a snack before you go out on your date so that you’re spending more time hearing what your date is saying and less time worrying about when your meal will be served.