Since the theme of the Views & Vibes talk show will continue to be about dating for the next two weeks, I thought it only right to share some of my oft referred to Dating Tips. These five tips, as well as the five I will share next week, were previously published in the August 2008 online edition of Jolie Magazine. Please read and enjoy!
- Be Ready to Listen Instead of Being Ready to Talk
If given a test on The Art of Conversation, how many of us would fail miserably? I see you aren’t raising your hand. Is that because when out on a date, you have so much to share and talk about, and this discussion about how great you are lasts for hours on end? Guess what…a monologue of me does not a conversation make! When sitting down with someone new, take the time to listen to what the person has to say, and not just to respond with a prepared statement from your personal resume. A great conversation starts with an open ear…not an open mouth!
- Develop 5 Things You Would Like to See Happen On or After the Date…Then Throw Them ALL in the TRASH
A common mistake many of us make in our preparation for a date is PLANNING. No, I don’t mean planning what you are going to wear or the location where you will be meeting or at what time. What I’m speaking of is anticipating everything that you’d like to see happen on that date or when the date is over. A date isn’t like a work day…it shouldn’t be planned to the tee. Be flexible in your approach to the afternoon or evening activity, and do well not to plan for your post-date life. Wait to see how the date goes before you plan on bringing your date to the family barbecue.
- Stay Away from Activity Dates on the 1st Date
One of the best ways to discover how much you could potentially dislike someone is to compete against them. Competition can bring out the worst in someone (i.e. jerk), which could be a major turn-off if you don’t know the character of a person. So, why put yourself in a situation where that competitive spirit can come front and center? Instead of going bowling on a first date, go somewhere quiet where conversation is the method for which to learn about your date. An activity date can both prove to be a distraction from a good conversation, as well as put you face-to-face with a win-at-all-costs psycho!!
- Limit Yourself to ONE Drink
For many people, there’s nothing like an evening where the drinks are flowing all-night long, and it just feels so rude turning down a drink when offered. But let me tell you, there’s nothing like a drunk date, either! Of course you know your limits…and one drink isn’t going to do anything to you (I can hear you thinking that right now). Well, do you really want to test your limits on a first date with someone? Not only is the potential for embarrassment high, but so is the potential to be taken advantage of, and for a splendid sense of regret to go along with that superb hangover. One drink is more than enough for any responsible first date, not to mention the additional cost to the person paying for the affair.
5. Don’t order anything leafy or be sure to check your teeth regularly
Dining etiquette is a must on a first date. Yes, you should place your napkin on you lap and not stuffed down the collar of your shirt. Yes, you should sit-up straight in your seat and not hunched over like your head weighs too much for your neck or leaning way back like your waiting to be examined by your doctor. Part of dining etiquette includes what you put into your body and not just what you do on the outside. You definitely want to stay away from foods you know tend to make you gassy or your breath smell like week-old cabbage. You also want to avoid anything that may get stuck in your teeth. If you want to turn the stomach of a potential suitor, try sucking that kernel of corn from the back of your teeth all evening, or get a nice, dark green leaf of spinach lodged next to your bicuspid. I’m sure that’s an embarrassing sight you’d like to avoid seeing when you are brushing before heading to bed!