It’s commonly understood that next to money issues, couples often list communication as one of the largest impediments to the success of their relationship. And within that same domain, “listening”, on the part of one or both people involved, is what’s missing.
Active Listening is indeed the key ingredient to any good communicative relationship. Are you actually hearing what someone is telling you, meaning…do you understand what is being said? Can you interpret their meaning on your own or do you ask questions to gain clarity? Most of all, do you even care about what someone is trying to communicate to you?
If you don’t understand or don’t care about what is being said to you, more than likely you’re not receiving the entire message. And because of that, conflicts will eventually erupt.
But there’s a flip side to that, as well. If you don’t feel that your partner is an active listener, it may not be all her/his fault. Check your own conversation!
Are you clearly stating your message, and not just in a way that you understand it? Everyone takes in information differently. You may not be effectively communicating with your S.O. (significant other) in a way that they can comprehend your meaning.
Better yet, what tone of voice are you using? Are you speaking in a manner that may turn your partner’s listening dial to off? If you’re yelling at someone or talking to them like a child, the meaning of the conversation is already being lost behind the way that you are expressing it.
When are you trying to communicate your thoughts? Is the timing appropriate or are you speaking at a moment when the object of your conversation is focused on something else?
Or maybe you’re simply not saying anything interesting enough to engage your S.O.
Maybe you’re over-talking and by the time you get to your main point, your mate is just tired of hearing the sound of your voice.
There are a great number of deeds, on your part, that may be making it difficult for your partner to be an Active Listener. Agreed, they may be a bad listener…and, then again, you may be a bad communicator!
